Advanced - What Is Your True-Love Gemstone? - RY Duong Leader For True Love

1. You just had a disagreement with your SO (significant other). Everybody’s so upset, communications are disrupted. You think back on other disagreements and realize one of the following:

One of us eventually realizes our part in the disagreement and we take steps to make amends and correct the situation.

He constantly blames you for everything and never feels it is his fault.

You realize almost every time that you are sensitive and triggered and blow things out of proportion and blame him for your feelings.

Yes, sometimes it happens, and it makes me feel sad that I cannot communicate or express my concerns.

This is a rare or one-off event, and you cannot remember this happening before or to this degree.

We always have taken the time to sit and talk it out and come to an agreement.

SO=Significant Other

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2. I was at a restaurant with my SO and a guy at the adjoining table smiled at me and my SO saw it. He yelled at me about flirting with guys and afterward gave me the cold shoulder on the ride home. Which of the following is most true:

I can’t help how cute I look.

He was having a bad day, and this is the first experience I’ve had with him in this way.

He apologizes profusely for this, though he doesn’t seem to change.

He’s aware he’s insecure and is working on himself, despite the setback.

He always over-reacts.

I once cheated on my SO and I understand his feelings.

SO=Significant Other

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3. My SO is watching his favorite sport again. I am an apparent “sports widow”, accordingly. This happens all the time. I pack my bag, tell him I’m leaving and walk to the door, fully intending to leave the relationship. Which of the following do you expect to happen:

He leaves the game on and approaches me at the door begging to me not to leave.

Before you leave, would you grab me a cold one and some chips?

He asks when I will be back, oblivious to the situation, too busy watching the game to notice the luggage and tone in your voice.

Says something hurtful like: Oh, I thought you’d never leave!

He turns off the TV and asks that we sit down and talk.

He asks you to wait until the game is over to talk about it.

SO=Significant Other

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4. You stumble on a message on your SO’s phone that has sexual or flirtatious overtones. You confront him with this information: He responds with:

Ooh… I didn’t realize how this was going. I will ask my department to have someone else work with her.

He sits and listens to your concerns; apologizes and says he will put a stop to the situation.

Why are you snooping around on my phone?

He laughs it off as nothing, calls you crazy.

He goes radio-silent and doesn’t engage in the discussion.

Oh, she’s not attractive, anyway. You have nothing to worry about.

SO=Significant Other

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5. Your SO tells everyone half-jokingly or sarcastically that you are always late and he tells friends, family and even strangers that you make him look bad. You indeed tend to be late to engagements and events. Which of the following best describes how you feel about this:

You have a fight right there in front of everybody, sticking up for yourself.

He thinks you are too sensitive and not accepting responsibility for being late.

You express later after you are both alone to not repeat this behavior, though you know he will repeat the behavior.

You feel humiliated and ashamed.

You express later that you are displeased with his behavior on this matter, and he makes changes to avoid doing this to you.

You laugh it off as a part of who you are.

SO=Significant Other

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6. You are getting ready to go with SO to a long anticipated wedding of your best friend, dressing “to the nines”, completely getting decked out, and your SO asks “are you going to wear that?” You have one of the following thoughts:

You are angry and tell him to try to give compliments even if he doesn’t like what you are wearing.

You ask for more information about his statement or judgement, considering he may be right, but want to be sure yourself.

You express a different opinion about your outfit and go about your readying for the wedding as is.

You realize that he has good viewpoints and is right and happily change your outfit.

You automatically go and get changed in tears.

You express dissatisfaction about his approach and ask him to re-consider his attitude.

SO=Significant Other

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7. You are getting ready for dinner out with your SO and he gushes “you are soooooo beautiful”. Somehow, the words mean something else to you. Which of the following is most true:

He’s just saying it to get laid.

I don’t think I am that pretty, though I’m not ugly, and it feels good that he says that I am.

I wish that he focused more on who I am as a person and not how I look.

Yes, I am so happy he sees what I see in myself.

I wish he would say that more often.

You secretly think you are not beautiful.

SO=Significant Other

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8. You were out with your girls having a good time, he calls you successively to check in on you saying he was just concern and that he missed you tremendously. You experience one of the following thoughts:

He always does this whenever I am out with friends or when he is not with me. It is so annoying!

It doesn’t matter if he calls or not.

I think that this is becoming a problem but when I try to bring it up, he get upset so I better keep it to myself.

A week ago, I got mugged. So I understand that he was overly worry, we spoke about it in private and he understands and will not do it again.

I LOVE IT when he calls…. Even when I am having fun with others, I love to feel his energy.

Oh! He really loves me. It is a bit much, but maybe he really is concerned.

SO=Significant Other

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9. He just told me that his ex-girlfriend wants to stay connected as friends. Although you believe that a relationship between a female and male can be platonic, you are uncomfortable. Which of the following is your best response:

I am afraid to say anything for fear he will get mad or leave me.

I say nothing and secretly monitor his texts, calls and sometimes follow him to his meetings with her.

I don’t like this one bit! I would prefer he didn’t cultivate such a relationship, not because of he is interested, but because I sense she is interested in having more than a friendship. Yet I tell him what boundary violations he needs to watch for…. The no-go zone, so to speak.

I get upset and scream my demands that he break all connections with her.

I don’t care. If he ends up having a fling or more with her, that just tells me it’s time to move on.

I cautiously stand back and hope that my trust in him is well placed.

SO=Significant Other

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He frequently has bad days at work, and comes home again in a bad mood. You are likely to do one of the following:

I have to watch what I say to avoid making the situation worse.

You will go into action mode to do all his favorite things, cook him his favorite meal, serve him, put on his favorite sport with a glass of his favorite beer/wine and let him settle in.

I sympathize with him over his experiences, yet I make it clear that our relationship is in jeopardy because he hasn’t remedied the situation he keeps “bringing home” at the end of the day.

I tell him to look for another job.

I think that this is becoming a problem but when I try to bring it up, he gets upset, so I keep it to myself.

You flood him with a lot of reassurance and hugs and kisses and tell him that everything will be alright.

SO=Significant Other

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11. I sent my SO a text hours ago and still no response. Which of the following best describes your reaction:

I start imaging catastrophic images in my head and desperately need to hear from him to know he’s okay.

I go radio silent and don’t respond after he finally responds back.

I go into a deep fear that he’s not responding because he’s lost interest in our relationship.

I start sending more messages with greater frequency until he responds.

It doesn’t matter to me. If I hear from him, okay, but not essential.

I understand that he’s busy and will go about my day, even though I am happy to hear from him

SO=Significant Other

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12. Does your SO show affection and/or speak highly of you?

My SO is my greatest cheerleader…. and even holds my hand in the mall.

I have to ask for affection and support to get anything from my SO, yet it always feels like an inconvenience when I ask.

I know my SO really loves me, but I wish my SO was more expressive.

My SO readily supports me doing things that might not be “manly” (like hold my purse while we are shopping).

My SO only shows affection when there’s something my SO wants from me.

My SO confuses me with affection sometimes and other times just “goes quiet” and pulls away.

SO=Significant Other

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13. Which of the following observations best represents your relationship with your SO?

I get mixed readings concerning my SO’s commitment to our relationship.

There seems to be a disconnect in my SO’s relating to my needs and desires and things seem a bit off.

My SO disappears for periods of time with no accounting or explanation.

We have a great relationship most of the time, and once in a while, when we have a disagreement, we seem to find a working answer to keep things positive.

My SO pays attention to small things that put a smile on my face and makes me feel appreciated.

My SO can never be seen as weak or wrong and gets upset with me when I share my thoughts and opinions.

SO=Significant Other

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14. Has your SO ever threatened to hurt you or have you ever felt unsafe?

Although I’ve never felt threatened, from time to time I feel hurt when my SO doesn’t seem to “have my back” or doesn’t stand up for me.

Yes, my SO was so angry, yet it was all my fault.

We had one incident, yet I set a zero-tolerance boundary going forward and the situation has never recurred.

Yes, my SO has gotten upset regularly and becomes menacing, though I don’t feel unsafe, just seeing my SO’s behavior as “a man things”

I go out of my way to make sure my SO doesn’t get upset because I am concerned that my SO could get out of control.

Absolutely not. I have never seen anything that would do so, nor do I expect to.

SO=Significant Other

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15. Your SO is very close with their mother… which best describes the situation for you?

She is overly involved in our lives and offers opinions and unsolicited advice regularly.

She’s pretty good at respecting boundaries, though from time to time we endure unsolicited advice.

There are times when I feel ganged up on during disagreements.

She keeps her thoughts at a distance and allows us our independence, yet she’s there to help if we ask.

I have mentioned to my SO issues with “mother”, and I feel ignored or dismissed.

My SO has heard my concerns and takes corrective action that avoids challenging situations going forward.

SO=Significant Other

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Advanced - What Is Your True-Love Gemstone?

Diamond

Congratulations! Your True-Love Gemstone is: Diamond! A Diamond symbolizes purity, faithfulness, wisdom and wealth. Diamonds, deep down inside, are strong, know what they like and don’t like, and not shy to express it. What Diamonds often experience when they journey with confidence and true love is a sense of being attractive, creative, powerful, well spoken and abundant. What they experience in the uncertain times is impulsivity, overwhelm (sometimes showing up as outbursts or other unbridled expressions), a deep desire for richer connection and happiness in relationships. It is very common for Diamonds to start their journeys feeling lacking and uncomfortable and later revealing their amazing brilliance and strength along the way, which empowers them to enjoy quality relationships and readily serve their passion and the people who will benefit from that passion. Your Journey Statement: “Rough diamonds may sometimes be mistaken for worthless pebbles” – Thomas Browne

Emerald

Congratulations! Your True-Love Gemstone is: Emerald! An Emerald symbolizes elegance, legacy, wealth, beauty, intuition and honor. Emeralds, deep down inside, are mesmerizing, loyal, honorable, truthful and have a strong sense of true wealth (not just money), fairness and harmony. They seek common ground and collaboration in relationships, which empowers them to serve humanity with greater connection. What Emeralds often experience when they journey with confidence and true love is a sense of dignity, memorialization, abundance and integrity. What they experience in the uncertain times is seeking comfort zones that get them stuck, which also affects their spontaneity and playfulness, profoundly affecting their happiness and relationships. It is very common for Emeralds to start their journeys feeling like they are unable to get ahead, stuck in a routine, and later in their journey revealing a fantastic amount of creativity and realizing the power of each person they meet, demonstrating compassion and kindness beyond the norm. When Emeralds are fully in their power, they love richly and deeply. This empowers them to enjoy quality relationships and readily support those that may normally be ignored by society. Your Journey Statement: “Give me songs to sing and emerald dreams to dream and I’ll give you love unfolding.” – Jim Morrison

Ruby

Congratulations! Your True-Love Gemstone is: Ruby! Rubies symbolize preciousness, luciousness, energy, vibrancy, health and wealth. Rubies, deep down inside, are creative, loyal, honest, focused and alert, and they are firmly connected to hearts and life. What Rubies often experience when they journey with confidence and true love is a sense of being the center of honesty, loyalty, creativity and are fiercely protective of the things and people they cherish. It is very common for Rubies to start their journeys feeling uncertain, timid and private, unwilling to risk exposure to possible ridicule and isolation. Rubies, when they nurture their journey, they end up revealing the strength of their heart, enabling them to be strong for themselves and others and very adept at making peace with anyone, including their ”enemies”. Accordingly, Rubies are the envy of others by virtue of their ability to hold the power of love, life and abundance in their sphere. Your Journey Statement: “You have no need to travel anywhere – journey within yourself. Enter a mine of rubies and bathe in the splendor of your own light.” – Rumi

Sapphire

Congratulations! Your True-Love Gemstone is: Sapphire! Sapphires symbolize nobility, sincerity, faithfulness and the power of effective communication. Deep down inside, Sapphires have a sense of wellbeing and peace unmatched by others. What Sapphires often experience when they journey with confidence and true love is a sense of being focused, unstoppable, clear and calm and an amazing ability to see through obstacles and around corners to reveal creative solutions to problems. What they experience in the uncertain times is hesitation to fully and authentically embrace their inner being and often resist giving themselves permission to ask for what they desire for fear of appearing demanding or stepping across boundaries of others. It is very common for Sapphires to start their journeys feeling insecure, at the mercy of the winds, and later revealing their amazing wisdom and ability to share that wisdom that further empowers them to enjoy unbridled joy and freedom. Your Journey Statement: “Sapphire is the richest way of saying blue or azure and is the concentrated reflection of blue skies and azure oceans.” – Brian K. Baird

Jade

Congratulations! Your True-Love Gemstone is: Jade! Jade symbolizes virtue, kindness, civility, patience, compassion and wisdom. Deep down inside a Jade is pure love and wisdom. What a Jade often experiences when they journey with confidence and true love is a sense of being lucky, powerful, magical, able to soothe and comfort themselves and others and frequently their lives are laced with healing abilities. What they experience in the uncertain times is struggling to voice their needs and concerns adequately, often not fulfilling desires, because of the risk of disappointing others and fear of abandonment or other forms of rejection. It is very common for a Jade to start their journeys people-pleasing at their own expense, leaving them feeling unheard, invalidated, unloved, and taken for granted. When a Jade is in their full power, they experience power that moves mountains and have and extraordinary sense of connection to the Universe (God), humanity and individuals they encounter. Often this spells out multi-generational healing and they easily serve as protectors of family and culture. Your Journey Statement: “It is better to live as a broken piece of jade, than to live as a useless clay.” – Bruce Lee

Advanced – What Is Your True-Love Gemstone?

1. You just had a disagreement with your SO (significant other). Everybody’s so upset, communications are disrupted. You think back on other disagreements and realize one of the following:

2. I was at a restaurant with my SO and a guy at the adjoining table smiled at me and my SO saw it. He yelled at me about flirting with guys and afterward gave me the cold shoulder on the ride home. Which of the following is most true:

3. My SO is watching his favorite sport again. I am an apparent “sports widow”, accordingly. This happens all the time. I pack my bag, tell him I’m leaving and walk to the door, fully intending to leave the relationship. Which of the following do you expect to happen:

4. You stumble on a message on your SO’s phone that has sexual or flirtatious overtones. You confront him with this information: He responds with:

5. Your SO tells everyone half-jokingly or sarcastically that you are always late and he tells friends, family and even strangers that you make him look bad. You indeed tend to be late to engagements and events. Which of the following best describes how you feel about this:

6. You are getting ready to go with SO to a long anticipated wedding of your best friend, dressing “to the nines”, completely getting decked out, and your SO asks “are you going to wear that?” You have one of the following thoughts:

7. You are getting ready for dinner out with your SO and he gushes “you are soooooo beautiful”. Somehow, the words mean something else to you. Which of the following is most true:

8. You were out with your girls having a good time, he calls you successively to check in on you saying he was just concern and that he missed you tremendously. You experience one of the following thoughts:

9. He just told me that his ex-girlfriend wants to stay connected as friends. Although you believe that a relationship between a female and male can be platonic, you are uncomfortable. Which of the following is your best response:

He frequently has bad days at work, and comes home again in a bad mood. You are likely to do one of the following:

11. I sent my SO a text hours ago and still no response. Which of the following best describes your reaction:

12. Does your SO show affection and/or speak highly of you?

13. Which of the following observations best represents your relationship with your SO?

14. Has your SO ever threatened to hurt you or have you ever felt unsafe?

15. Your SO is very close with their mother… which best describes the situation for you?

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